


Constellations of Vital Phenomena

by Zadabug98



Series: YOI One-shots [2]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Family Trees, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Humor, Sappy, Short, Yuri is super chill, all comfort, but whether's that's because it's set in the future, is completely up to you, no hurt, or he's just tired, this is based on my actual life, yuri loves his parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 09:57:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11079228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zadabug98/pseuds/Zadabug98
Summary: Eventually every friend group develops a family dynamic whether you chose the roles or not. This is how the Russian Skate Family chose to mark their family tree.AKA: A very pretentious title for a very short fic





	Constellations of Vital Phenomena

**Author's Note:**

> So IDK if anyone noticed but I think I responded to something in the comments of my WIP (Check that out if you want, it's good I promise and super fluffy) that I was the Mom Friend(TM) of my friend group. We actually took about an hour one day during exam week and drew out a very complicated family tree on a white board including all of my Wife's past lovers, present lovers, and the children from these unions who were "biologically" hers but not mine. It got weirdly incesty when two of our "children" got together for a few weeks but hey, it's not a perfect system. And they were only half-siblings anyway. 
> 
> So literally twenty minutes ago I think to myself "what if...." so I wrote it and now here it is. Warning for vaguely OOC Yuri but hey, it's late, and this is just a little doodad that I wanted out of my head. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!!!!
> 
> Stick around in the End Notes for FUN FACTS!!!!!

Yuri walks into the break room of the rink to see Mila, Georgi, Yuuri, and Viktor all crowded around the large whiteboard and squabbling with each other over what he assumes must be written on it.

“Viktor are you really going to include my actual parents in there?” Yuuri sighs as Viktor etches his terrible writing under the circles and squares in the left-hand corner. “No one else’s actual parents are on the tree.”

“That, my darling Yuuri,” Viktor says as he caps the marker with a flourish. “is because it would be cruel to not include the most wonderful people in the world in this tree.” Yuuri pouts, ready for a rebuttal, but Viktor isn’t done. “Plus,” he continues, wiping away a stray mark with the pad of his thumb as he examines his handiwork, “everyone else is already claimed. Unless you want me to make Yakov and Lilia your parents, too.”

Yuuri’s face scrunches in distaste at the thought. “Don’t even joke about pretend family tree incest,” he says. “It’s gross.”

Mila bursts into laughter as Georgi turns to see Yuri standing in the doorway with the look one wears when they’re trying to decide whether they want to know if they want to know what’s going on. “Viktor’s making our family tree,” he says, making the decision for Yuri. “It’s actually pretty good, though we haven’t gotten to you yet.”

Yuri steps forward and drops his bag, eyeing the tree – though it’s more of an amalgamation of circles, squares, and squiggly lines in all the colors of the EXPO markers provided by the rink which are, admittedly, not many. “Okay,” he says, because it’s too early in the day to start attempting to beat the stupid out of Viktor. “How long has he been working on it?”

Viktor pops up out of fucking nowhere and only three years of training in the same rink as the dude keeps Yuri from flinching. “Half an hour,” he chirps happily – far too peppy for this hour in the morning. “So far I’ve gotten all of our friends down, though Yuuri and I couldn’t agree on whether Chris and Phichit were our ex-lovers or our extra siblings.”

Yuri hums, glancing at the Constellation of Weirdness to try and figure out what outcome they’d settled on.

Ex-lovers, apparently.

“Okay,” Yuri says again, because really what else are you supposed to say to that. “Where am I?”

Viktor blinks, and his face does that thing that Yuri has always referred to as his Sherlock Holmes impression – not the old-timey movies or the RDJ version, but the Benedict Bandersnatch one – trying to read you like a book. Though, if Yuri were to be honest, he’s not 100% sure that Viktor actually could read a normal book.

The thought makes him smile.

Yuuri glances over and smiles the _I know he’s being an idiot but he accidentally drank a triple shot this morning and it’s all I can do not to kill him_ smile. “We couldn’t decide whether to put you with the rest or not,” he says, and that clears up absolutely nothing until Yuuri gestures to the cluster of skaters scribbled under what appears to be a notation of Yakov and Lilia’s – still separated – marriage.

“Did you put Viktor, Georgi, and Mila down as Yakov and Lilia’s kids?” he asks, mildly horrified. Everyone else just beams, though Georgi looks contemplative.

“Does that mean you do not want to be one of Yakov and Lilia’s kids?”

Yuri shudders and shakes his head definitively, which makes Viktor practically crow like Peter-Fucking-Pan as he leaps at the board to scribble Yuri’s name down…

Under Viktor and Yuuri’s. In between Makkachin and the deceased Vicchan.

“Viktor,” Yuri says to this. “You never even met Vicchan.”

Viktor shrugs, writing Yuri’s name in Roman letters under the Cyrillic – assumedly for Yuuri’s benefit. “He was Yuuri’s baby,” he says, “and now that Yuuri’s my husband, he’s my baby too. Dead or no.”

Mila dabs her eyes to blot away what Yuri can only hope are not real tears as Georgi clutches his heart and spouts something about a father’s love from beyond the grave.

Yuri just shrugs and leaves them there to head towards the locker rooms. As he walks down the hallway he hears Yuuri shriek “You can’t put Minako as my grandmother! She’ll kill you!” and he laughs.

His parents are weird.

**Author's Note:**

> FUN FACT 1: In case you're wondering, Viktor ends up putting Minako down as Hiroko's sister instead of her mother. (He doesn't know it but he actually avoided losing his ability to procreate by doing so.)
> 
> FUN FACT 2: When I told my friends the "when I have a wife she will be mom and I will be optimus prime" joke that was circulating around tumblr back then, one of my "children" decided that I was from then on to be known as Optimus Prime. It evolved over the years into Mrs. Mr. Optimus T. Prime. Just.... Just imagine someone *cough* Yuri *cough* calling Viktor or Yuuri Optimus Prime instead of Dad with a straight face. Go on. S'good, isn't it?
> 
> FUN FACT 3: I stole the title from a book by the same name. Good book, very poignant. It's the definition for Life, and I found it very fitting since I once drew my family tree in an art class as a constellation instead of a tree. 
> 
> As always is you have a comment, question, or concern drop it in the box down below and thank you so much for reading!!! <3


End file.
